I'm inside again

Yay, in hospital again. I've done a lot of hospitaling over the last three or four years.

It's nothing to do with the most recent difficulty of pulmonary hypertension I wrote about (https://wobblybear.uk/post/diagnosis-grounded) on the face of it, but a re-occurence of the AF – atrial fibrillation – I last had over two years ago, and had thought was under control now. So I've gone from a resting pulse rate of around 40 beats per minute, to a sat still rate of about 120-150 bpm.

It just came on and started madly bumpitty bumpitty bumping, instead of just a slow steady bump bump bump, on Tuesday evening, and by Wednesday afternoon I was being admitted to stay in hospital for observation, with an eye on them performing the electric shock cardioversion operation on me to get it back into a sensible sinus rhythm.

By Thursday afternoon, the op still hadn't happened, but they weren't going to let me out yet. They upped my beta blocker dosage instead, and decided to step back and see what happened.

Nothing happened.

After nearly a whole Friday with nothing happening too, I finally got my cardioversion operation at 5pm, and after coming round in recovery, everything was normal. Pulse monitor playing regular rhythm at normal-ish 48 bpm, instead of some jazzy number at 140 bpm. It worked fine again.

It was lovely to have myself back. Just the day before I was getting the familiar breathlessness and a 150 plus rate when just doing simple things, like walking the flat smooth 20 metre length of the ward to get to the toilet. Now I could saunter across that at will, and at my leisurely 48 bpm, with no reaction at all.

Then this morning after a great relaxed night's sleep, and just after breakfast, I was sat on the edge of the bed and just felt my heart go again. No reason. I was just sat there and it just went out of whack from nowhere and started racing again. The portable pulse monitor I was wearing (as I was now in the specialist cardiology ward and they have a personal wearable monitor on me) confirmed the return of the 150 bpm and no discernible rhythm.

This was so disappointing. Using the thesaurus, I think I can say I was aghast. And I cried out of frustration as I knew this meant I wouldn't be going home later today (Saturday 12th) either.

The cardioversions I've had before have stuck. The first one was only screwed up by a GP reducing the beta blocker dosage (because he panicked about my low pulse). I was back in AF inside four days, and being ambulanced to hospital having collapsed in the bathroom at four in the morning.

Once back on the right dose and shocked into sinus again, I've been fine for the two years since. There is now another bump (not a bumpitty bump) in the beta blocker dosage. There's also some talk of me being a good candidate for the more involved ablation operation, but the cardiologist consultants haven't agreed, and that wouldn't be for a couple of days at least now once they do.

So I'm writing this from my hospital bed (thinking possibly two days stay originally, but now four and certainly going into five) having got J to drive to visit me and please bring the laptop.

I can't face writing a blog post on a phone touchscreen keyboard. I needed some fresh pyjamas too, getting a bit smelly here in the the ones I bought expecting only one overnight.

Her visiting me isn't just a case of a twenty minute spur of the moment, local town thing either. The drive is around 80-90 minutes, depending on tourists and tractors, so she's been golden doing that today just to spend a couple of hours at my bedside.

I'm not in the good books by choosing (I dispute that term) to become ill again just the evening before she was due to head off at 9am to do her main craft fair event of the year, 240 miles away in Kent. She had spent Tuesday afternoon loading her van, and weeks before making enough stock to get ready to sell at the three day event, only to have to cancel going at all on the morning she was due up there to set up her stall.

I know there's nothing either of us could do about the timing, but I suspect points will be gained and lost about 'that time when...' now. She had to call the organisers and cancel her pitch, and we don't know how little refund, if any, she'll get for it at such short (i.e. on the day) notice.

She's calmed down a bit. What can I say, she loves me, and would rather I was still here. To be honest I was as upset as she was, nearly. I was a little pre-occupied with feelings of mortality of course, but I was still very upset that I had ruined this much anticipated event for her.

Hopefully by the next post, it'll all be over with for the time being, but there may be another tale or two to add - there have been some interesting happenings on the various wards I've been in.

Hospitals. All human life is here. Briefly sometimes.